As the myths
said, that Vampires are monsters that thirsty
for blood. Due to that nature, they always depicted as antagonist. But there's
one kind that eager on tomato, instead of blood. Yes, really. We shall see in Red's
and Bullet-Proof Software's The Twisted Tales of Spike McFangs (1994)!
Some said
that Vampires gain power from moonlight, so very fortunate for vampires in this
land to have moon that close. Like you can see its craters, really detail. It's
not like it will collide to this earth or anything, right? Anyway, that hat is
belong to Spike McFang, the protagonist of this game. Before we know better
about him, we should know the backstory of this game, first. I know you do
(not) care about it, so here we go!
There's
archipellago lands named Vladamasco where
bizzare creatures live away from humanity. I believe word Vladamasco is the
combination of name Vlad, the impaler (who's "accused" as
vampire/dracula) and Damasco that either Portuguese for either apricot or an
ornate silk fabric originating from Damascus [Credit to wikitionary for explaining
Damasco]. There's 3 rulers that rules each kingdom: King Dracuman (bottom),
Queen Vampra (Left), and General Von Hesler (Right). They live in harmony...
...but everything changed when the fire nation General Von
Hesler and his army attacked. Vampra's daughter: Camelia (that green-haired girl)
manage to escape from Von Hesler's invasion. She seeks help to Dracuman's son
-none other than- Spike McFang...
...who's
currently in Fighter Island to learn become warrior. Spike Mcfang who's the lad with top hat is accompanied by Professor Steam and
sheep. I like the car has crocodile part on roof along with small birdhouse
with pair of bat wings. It's so astoundingly cool. Everything is
bizzare and cool except the professor, he looks like generic professor in anime
or game. You know with partial bald head, white hair, and mustache. Also I
suspect he's mere human. Lame!
Then Camelia
catches up with Spike then asking for his help. But Spike want to finish
this class here, first. Otherwise they will take his money deposit here.
Furious with his answer, Camelia leaves to Ratville and calling him wimp. Well,
you better get on with the training, Spike!
Here i meet
the spirit of Fighter Island: Master Ching Cao Qiang. Or Clarence for short. I know
you're confused with that short name like me, but that's what he said. Judging
by that big tooth that he rides, he could be Tooth Fairy. Ok, Mr. Tooth Fairy.
Get on with the lesson!
Jumping
rolling logs. Not the log, right? Okay! In case you don't know, this stage is tutorial.
Quite proper i said. This trial teach me to jump by pressing 'B' button.
Spike's jump is short but enough to pass these logs. But each time Spike land
from his jump, he stomps down makes him unable to do anything for awhile. Mind
that!
Next course,
is rock breaking. Spike can spin his cape to attack around him by pressing 'Y'
button. By doing so, he create 1 slash layer that damage and bit knockback.
Useful melee move, i admit.
You can also
hit 'Y' button repeatedly to perform bigger attack. Spike will continually spin around and can unleash up to 4 slash layers...
... but he
will get dizzy for quite long moment, making him completely defenseless. To
prevent this you can jump around after doing spin attack. Or you can do spin
attack while jumping. The latter method will allow you to be more mobile in
combat and to prevent small knockback everytime you hit enemy.
I have to go
to a seesaw on north to get me to next course. Those Moaimen focus their sight
on me, gives me creep. I don't have good relation with sentient Moai stone
before that's probably why.
By holding
'Y' button for a moment, Spike's hat will start to float. Release said button
will make Spike throw his hat. Now i have to pop some balloon sheep squadron
with that move. While holding 'Y' button, Spike will stand still and you can
use directional button to aim his throw. I know those sheep are cute but Spike
must do what he must. Let's hope there's proper safety measure for them below once their balloon are popped.
Then Spike falls into a raft in this river, there's piranhas. I
slap some of them and then Professor calls me. Can you see i'm....i got level
up? Thank you for your notification, prof.
The river
leads me to this little island with little shrine. Mr. Clarence puts me the final test: fight his magic cane. It can shoots
magic fireball!
...and tries
to smack my head. Dodge the attack and then safely retaliate. That's kind of
thing that i do. But, wait! The cane is level 4 (that's the big number in the
rightside of its health indicator)! Do i need to level up first before this
bout?
Thankfully
not. Even though i end up with last 4 hitpoints left (that's what the tomatoes
indicate). My reward is empty box? Actually Mr. Clarence unlocks my ability to
store trick card (it's in the right-bottom corner). What's trick card? I will
explain later. For now, i have to go save my kingdom because i have legit
fighter diploma now.
Meanwhile, Colonel
Hydra (top) orders her daughter Felina (bottom) to guard Dracuman's castle. As
much as i like cat, but i have to defeat Felina otherwise my kingdom won't be
free anymore. But i'll make sure she will be in prison where there's lots of pillow
to scratch and dozens of fish for meal, i promise.
Here i'm at
Dracuman's village castle. Professor Steam gave me 100 gold that i assume was my
deposit back there. That Moaiman with book and pen is the savepoint. If you
save your game you don't automatically heal yourself like in Kingdom Hearts.
But you can talk to professor to replenish your health to the fullest.
What's that,
link? Colonel Hydra's minions guard the castle. I knew that, already. Is that
shop on the north?
A shop it is.
The shopkeeper's name (i assume) is Dowson. It's charming yet bizzare fellow. I
think it's antromorphism of Hydra. It sells hats (rejoice Team Fortress 2
player!) and a couple of Tomato trick card: big tomato
and tomato juice. Trick card is *Drum rolls* Spike's magic. Pretty simple on
top of that. You don't need to worry about mana or anything like that. The
trick card casting only limited by the number of card that Spike
have. Maximum number is 10. Both of tomato cards act as healing magic. Of
course, the most expensive card (Tomato Juice) heals the most hitpoints. You activate this magic by pressing 'A' button and you can switch between magics by pressing either 'L' button or 'R' button. While
buying hats act as upgrade of hat throw attack. But, before shopping for my
quest...
...i check
the Japan version of the game named Chou Makai Taisen! Dorabot-chan. Because i
heard rumor that the shopkeeper is different and it's proven. I reckon she's
antromorphism of Unicorn which mean bizarre enough. Although i have soft spot for
pretty female in anime style, i still prefer former shopkeeper because i can hardly believe her name is Dowson while for
that hydra man, i can. I hope you get it, reader.
After bit
shopping, i leave to my castle. At the frontyard, i encounter lots of killer
cloves. They're easy to dispatch like what first enemy type should. I will tell
you further about the Spike's Hud: A big number in the right indicate Spike's
level, Big tomato on left represent 16 hitpoints each, and small tomatoes
beside the big one represent 4 hitpoints each. While the enemy (that Spike hit
or vice versa) has the same style indicator albeit the icon is garlic instead
of tomato. Vampire hates garlic, you see.
You can tell by that giant ornament on the
main gate that this huge castle (originally) belong to Dracuman. Me and my
father wearing top hat, you see. But, alas! The gate is locked. I should bring
reserve key next time other invaders occupy our castle.
As i step back to the bridge, profesor calls me saying that he gave reserve
key to my pet: Sid which is in the left of main gate. Allrighty then.
Here's Sid,
my good boy. What? The key has been stolen by Clove in
the right of main gate. Very well!
There you
are! Hand over that key or i'll make you!
Inside the castle, i fight zombies. Don't be fooled with their
name. They're not your regular zombie who are slowpoke. No. They're quite fast
and able to emit firebreath. But they can be easily flanked. Now i will
explain about the enemy's loot drop. Upon death, there's about 65% chance that
enemy will drop either coin or tomato with various size for limited time before
vanishing. That's quite cruel in grinding part. But if you focus on collecting
the loot, you can get hefty money without you
realize.
In this
battlement, a moaiman boots me so hard that makes me travel across 3 screens...
...and slam me into wall, breaking it. I know this is necessary
for my progress but can you do other way that less involving me getting hurt,
huh? Tell that to your cousin over there, savepoint moaiman!
Back to
Castle interior, i'm greeted by lvl 3 feline
fighters. One of them manage to smack my head. Ouch!
My head's
fate is still near danger. I jump into that large spring then
(obviously) i hit the ceiling and fall down to moat. Luckily, Sid help me to
get to the other side just like what i want.
Then i meet
killer clove that can blow stinky breath without any indication that differs it
from other that i meet before. Okay, that's not entirely true. Its skin tone is
pinkish. Even though it's lvl 1, it's stronger beside has ability to shoot bad
breath. The sod is so unhygienic. Ugh!
Delve
deeper, i encounter Metal Muncher that -as you can guess- is the heavy hitting
enemy. It can launch rocket punches and jump on me. If you're amazed on how heavy
metal clad has ability to jump on someone? Then you didn't know/meet Mega Knight.
I can dispatch Metal Muncher pretty well by
keeping distance and throwing hat. Turns out that it's piloted by only a feline fighter. The metal beast drops 4 times loot than
normal enemy. Worth it!
Then i go
through ceiling beams fight small spiders and their proud mother here who keep
another key under her backside. I know that spiders are
capable to produce web. But poisonous foams like these? Actually this is my
second time fighting this sub-boss because i got beaten badly and i'm out of
healing trick cards. You may notice that section with large spring is point of
no return. And beyond that point i haven't found other savepoint moaiman. Thus
i load my game and grinding at first room where many feline warriors spawn.
When i'm lvl 4 and well supplied, i continue my quest.
There's 2
feline fighters make carpet wave to hamper me getting further. How adorable.
Family
reunion happens. Sneaking through
ventilation allow me to reach my mother here. She goes 4th wall breaking by
telling me that Felina is level 4 agile fighter. Don't worry! I'm level 5 right
now. By the way. Each time i level up, my max hitpoints increase by 16, deal
more damage and take less damage.
After quite
long walking, dealing with enemies and traps. I finally found the 3rd savepoint
moaiman. Can you call another your cousin in between you and the
second, huh? I really appreciate it if you do.
Near this
point, the feline fighters are now able to throw bomb. Oh, great! [Soft
Sarcasm]
At the
entrance of where Felina resides, there's buzzsaws move along the ground and 2 lizard statues that fire arrows. Such a good sportsmanship,
Felina. [Medium Sarcasm]
You probably
can guess that Felina is in throne chamber. She and her squad forms a heart
shape. That's cute but i will still beat you.
When mother
said Felina is agile, she's really mean it. Felina doing aerial acrobatics most
of the time. She only stop when she want to either throw her scepter or smack
my head with it. But her moves are quite predictable.
When she's
low in hitpoints, she's blinking and there's
'level up' word in her head. Also her health is fully replenished. That can't
be good.
Now she has
new move: plunging her scepter from high altitude! Her scepter throwing has
homing capability too. But you can still deal with her pretty easy. In fact, i
don't remember using any healing magic during this battle.
This time
she is really defeated. She offers me giant koban coin to spare her live. Fine,
i'll take it.
Of course
it's a trap. I immediately get caged but at least the koban coin is real and
increase my wealth by 150 gold. Look at her! Looks really smug with her
trickery. I have to figure how to get out of here so she stop feeling smug.
...or let a
stranger set me free. That works too.
Forget about
comfortable prison for you, Felina! You're too naughty so i send you flying
instead. To add insult to injury i give you rhythmic words. Serves you right!
The
mysterious lad is Rudy, Von Hesler's son. But no need to be aware! It's proven
that he's on our side. Not only he saved me but also free my mother from
prison. Now that our castle free, we depart to Ratville as Camelia said. Mother
will be save in here as long as she doesn't leave throne room. Because other
room still has respawning enemies and traps. Yup, she should be fine.
I can only
grind for coins in part before castle's part where lie big gap that previously
has large spring. This one-armed bandit provides me with trick card beside Dowson's
shop. But you get random card (excluding the tomato cards) on each draw and
each draw cost 20 gold. There's rarity type on the cards. I think it's
indicated by color of picture's corner. There's 3 type that you get from this
sentient casino: green are the common; yellow are the rare; and red are the
epic. In this case i get rare card: Animal Card which turn lesser enemies into
harmless animals. On other word: Mass Polymorph.
Road to
Ratville isn't safe. Luckily some good person/critter put warning sign. Okay,
professor. You know what to do.
ONE JOB,
PROFESSOR. YOU HAD ONE JOB! >o< #
So we have
to continue our journey by foot. The cloves here are wild and wield spear. I
don't want to end up in their cauldron. That's it, Rudy. Do tanking for me. I'm
mage. I wear top hat and can do magic, you see. Rudy is invincible but with
so-so ai. He attacks by bumping himself to enemy in vicinity.
The desert
cloves aren't the only hostile in this area. There's also dancing cactus who
either throws Maracas around or throws its head that spray thorns, scratcher who is basically hopping emblem thing, and fire-breathing plant.
Suddenly, we
got ambushed by ratmen. They suspect us to be Von Hesler's men. Luckily, their
elder tells them that we're not enemy. By the way....OUW! My newly bought hat!
3X
