Cooking Collab 1 (Video)

Do you like good culinary experience? I bet you do unless you're obsessed with being skinny as living skeleton. I apologize if you're in the middle of fasting and this prologue may jests you. Actually i'm currently fasting for one month (now is Ramadhan month, you see). Anyway, can you cook? I can. Only a bit though. If you have any proper cooking facility in your house/homebase/lair, i suggest you try cook even for a bit. What with the easiness of finding cooking recipes by internet browsing. Also not all them aren't as hard to understand as nuclear reactor manual. So, it's worth giving a shoot. Anyway, here's cooking contest video that are meant to be funny entertainment not for cooking lesson.

Here we can see the (helmet-less) red soldier who act as jury in this cooking contest (let's just call him jury soldier from beyond this point), scolds a red spy who is one of cooking contestants for his failure. Spoiler: every contestant fail in this collab video. In case you don't know what collab video is, it's video that consist of qualified video entries that is made by other people other than the host. In this case, the host are the ones who name Psycho and Olu. I review some of the entries in this video to make this article not too long and comprehensive. So if you want to see all of them, i suggest you view the video here and leave a like if you're willing to. By the way let's get started!     

Here is an entry by LAZAA4567. 2 odd things that i see here: First, (obviously) the scout's head shape. Second, his position. I mean how can you turn on the stove when you are behind it?

Oh, yes! Put lighter (that is presumably lit) on the pan to cook. Brilliant! By the way, before he put the lighter, he poured some water from a jerry can. So you just cook some water?

 

The result: a cabbage?! That was not ordinary water, then?!

After he ate it, he frown and give the scout a middle finger gesture. That's really rude cooking assessment there, soldier. Failure factor: strange ingredient.

Now is entry by xXLazyMoonXx. Pyro here got strange cooking recipe. I mean look at the ingredients that seems not right such as: sawblade, Jarate(!!!), and a Baby?

Thankfully, the baby is just a doll. But that's still inedible ingredient like other. How he cooks all this ingredient?

He put them all in a pot then burn them using flamethrower. Is he laughing maniacally while doing so? Of course! He is sensible pyro, afterall.

The results is: a pack of cookies. That seems legit.

Then, the jury soldier sucks it. So far so good, huh?

But the pyro remember about something. And that is: small writing on the cooking recipe that say "Remember unwrap before eating!!!" It goes without saying that you must remove the wrapping of any wrapped food first, soldier!

The jury soldier screams painfully then give the pyro thumb down. In my opinion, this entry here is the best Cooking Collab entry for category: Pyro contestant. Failure factor: jury's stupidity lack of normal sense and weird cooking ingredients.

This time is DR. GAUGH's entry. As the sniper looks a kettle, he thinks to make tea party course. That doesn't sounds bad, right?    

But The jury soldier doesn't look happy. Oh, come on! The sniper gave you the party hat. You should smile a bit there.

The sniper even go far persuades the jury by wriggling his eyebrow and staring at the soldier in adorable manner. But the result remains the same. Failure factor: culinary that doesn't match well with jury's taste, perhaps.

Next is Sanches's entry. The pyro told the jury soldier that he will cook sandwich. How he cook it? By smashing a beef and a cabbage with french bread so hard that resulting explosion and of course, a sandwich. No doubt, it's this pyro inner ability to make explosion like this. Fire and explosion are quite close related, aren't they?!

While the pyro got distracted, a scout look at the sandwich while laughing. As if he has an evil plan.  

He ruins the sandwich with a bottle of scrumpy. That looks bad.

Yes, indeed. By looking at the jury soldier's expression, you can guess that the sandwich turns really bad. Then he throws it to the pyro.

The pyro response with wildly moving his head and point a middle finger to the jury soldier. Watch your manner, pyro! Failure factor: food sabotage with alcohol substance.

This is entry by PROPMINGE. Now, this is really ludicrous yet stupid. The scout contestant puts a fish to a junk boot then grills them together. What's the result?  

A well-done fish in a boot. What else? The jury soldier looks unimpressed by this obnoxious mess. Nonetheless, he still eats it and his reaction is obviously not well. Failure factor: stupid contestant being stupid.

Next is RANDOMGAMER159's entry. Look likes The red spy can cook well until a blu sniper "seasons" the meat loaf with a jarate. Yuck!!!  

The result of his cooking is: perfect-love sandwich. The jury soldier mumbles that he never like it but he still munch it down.

Then he pukes. Luckily, there is a bucket falls to his position. That's convenience! Failure factor: culinary that doesn't match well with jury's taste, also urine poisoning.

Next is an entry by Inspector Heavy. The heavy roast a Dalokohs bar, a pack of Toblerone^tm, and a medical pill tube (small health pickup) on frying pan. He roasts them on top of oven not on stove besides it. But he manages to cook something by this strange way.

The result is: medical cupcake. Looks nice and healthy.

But, the jury soldier gives him thumb down while boo-ing. Failure factor: using medical pills as cooking ingredient or contestant's inability to properly process them.

Now is time for Spiké èkipS's entry. The sniper here boils a jarate (eyuck!) in a sauce pan. That ain't good.

But somehow it turns into a (water)melon as the jury soldier's request. Then he gobs it down.

Obviously, it's not good for his taste. He is asking for (water)melon not (urine)melon, dolt! Then he tells the sniper to go (away). Failure factor: using a jar of piss as cooking ingredient.

Here is an entry by eyen22buck. He makes his cooking ingredients & utensils by magic simply pointing his finger. You're not wearing a chef hat, there?

Well that's a boot but whatever. He put all of the ingredients in a pot then cook them by magic again simply wink his eye. What's the result?

A burger! But i don't like the color of its patty. It looks no good.

Then the jury soldier violently screams as his reaction to that burger. The spy is upsets not because he fail at cooking contest but most to his "chef hat" flies away from his head presumably because of big force from soldier's loud scream. In my opinion, this entry here is the best Cooking Collab entry for category: Spy contestant. Failure factor: incorrect magic application way to cook.

Next is SkyTrees55's entry. The contestant here is this idiot-looking demoman here. Nice wolf skin there.

His cooking ingredients: a bottle of scrumpy (as every demoman has), a can (that he pick nearby *uugh!*), and a head. Isn't that demoman's head?

Yep. To be more precise, it's his own head. Whatever *sweat drop*. You're the chef here.

Then he puts all of the ingredients to this medical concoction and call it "Scrumpy soup".

From how wide the jury soldier's mouth opens up to scream loudly (after he taste it), you can guess that the soup is really horrid. Thus, the demoman fails at this cooking contest even though he has sacrificed his own head.

Suddenly his head pops up from the soup and screams to express his depression toward his failure cooking effort. Failure factor: indecent cooking ingredients.

Here is an entry by Ronald369. The cooking ingredients: a watermelon, a beef, a bottle of drinking water (i hope), and....that's a window cleaner, right?!

Then the contestant put them in a cooking pot along with other ingredients (such as lemons and a doughnut) and mix them. From his expression, you can see that he is seriously stirs them like legit chef.

The result is this soup or whatever this food is. It may looks good but the jury soldier says "This is s**t.". I like Ronald369's idea, making shovel's size small that it can be a substitute spoon. Failure factor: using a cleaning product as cooking ingredient.

Next is collab entry by DEADLINECLOCK. This time, the contestant is a robo-scout and he said he want to cook robo-sandwich. How he does that?

By altering an already-made sandwich with his fellow's (mangled) heads. That's kind of cannibalistic cooking method. Even though the one who eat the robo-sandwich is the jury soldier not himself.

Of course the results is terrible. Poor jury soldier vomit badly after consuming said sandwich.

Then he gives the robo-scout an old-school bomb. BOOOM! Failure factor: using robotic heads as cooking ingredient.

This time is DamashiDX's entry. Heavy here seems confident with his cooking skill and his cooking ingredient: ham shank, Dalokohs bar, buffalo-steak sandvich, mad milk, and fishcake. So far he is quite convincing chef or at least he is sensible enough to not include a jarate as ingredient.

Look at how shiny the sandvich that he cooked! As finishing touch, he add some sauce on it.

After the jury soldier eat it. The heavy realizes that the sauce that he poured it is: Papriko De Diablo with (small) warning words "Warning is very hot!" scribed on its bottle. Oh uh!

Like many in many cartoon, the jury soldier turns red and burps a long fiery jet as reaction for eating very hot/spicy food. Because of Heavy's hot mistake, he fail the cooking contest and change his profession from professional chef to computer operator. So sad ):. In my opinion, this entry here is the best Cooking Collab entry for category: Heavy contestant. Failure factor: cooking contestant's clumsiness which is not checking sauce that he uses.

Here's the video's epilogue. The jury soldier complaint to these 8 mercenaries (as representative of all cooking contestants) that they're disgrace because they can't cook well. The red scout replies with "Why don't you cook yourself, soldier?". Then the jury soldier accepts that challenge.

After some ruckus cooking process, the jury soldier throws his creation (the eggplant there) to the scout. Then he eats it.

But then he pukes so hard toward the jury soldier and stating that "that was the most disgusting thing that i ever ate".

After that, the scout got fed (*pun intended*) up to the jury soldier's further complaint and shoot his head with scattergun.

Credit to Psycho, Olu, and this video collab's participants. Overall, it is fantastic and funny thanks to weird things happen in many cooking (such as: strange cooking ingredient, the jury soldier's reaction, unusual cooking process). Worth to mention that many of entries using nice music and sound effects especially the sad violin music at the last part. Also, cooking collab series are the best GMod/SFM collab video ever, in my opinion. By the way, everytime i play at cp_gorge map, i spontaneously think "Well, this is the place where cooking collab happen. I wish i cook something instead of fighting over control points". Nice thought, huh?!