About three years ago, i watch
The Expendables 3 in cinema. It's contain tons of explosive action and gunfire,
just like what i expected. Money well spent, perhaps? I bit wonder how the
first ones fares especially if i compare it with the 3rd ones that i watched.
Thus i watch The Expendables (2010).
In case you have freshly awoken
from cryogenic sleep for several years or not much enthusiast for modern movie
these years, so you don't know what is The Expendables is. It's like other Hollywood
action movie that involves massive usage of bullets and explosive with bit of
punches/kicks into the mix. But it's main special point: it features lots of
top-tier action superstars. For starter, it's directed and starred by Sylvester
Stallone. And then there's Jason Statham, that i start recognize him as main
protagonist in The Transporter (2002)
and Jet Li, the Chinese Actor that everyone fancy. Not me, though. I prefer
Jackie Chan. Oh, right. The story. It start with group of biker and one of the
motorbike has "Expendables" written on its fuel tank. Then it skips
to large ship on Gulf of Aden, Somalia. Inside of it there's armed patrol with
casual cloth. I assume they're Somali pirates.
Indeed, they held hostages and
brought them for not-yet-explained reason. Meanwhile, this special force
approaches said ship with rubber raft and they're ready to sort the problem. By
the way, there's preliminary credit roles. Mickey Rourke seems famous, but i
can't recall the things that makes him famous. None at all. Excuse me for not having
vast knowledge about American movies. Yet, i write this article.
Silly me. Of course, the pirates need the hostages for ransom
filming. As this guy who does the speaking, i assume he's the leader. Most of
the pirate seems proud to show their face. The one with balaclava is certainly
nervous with his acting. Poor git.
In the middle of his vigorous
speech (and about to execute that captive), laser sights lock on him and
there's a bag thrown in front of him. The pirate crews react with calm
expression and aim to the source of the laser sight. While the leader looks confused
panic. You think the leader has to be more charismatic than his crews. Well,
that's not the case with this pirate.
Then there's bit of negotiation. Stallone
said the bag contain bring 3 million Dollars as ransom. But the pirate's leader
decline that offer because it takes too long to arrive and he demands 5 million
Dollars. Of course his greediness got him killed. To be more accurate, he got
split into two pieces (you can see his lower half on leftside) by well placed
M79 grenade launcher's shot. No more suitable comment from me than "Serves
him right!".
Of course, the pirates start
shooting toward Stallone and Co. Before retaliating with their own hot lead, they
throw smoke grenades, shoots the lamps then put Thermal Vision goggle. Quite
logic procedure, i got to say.
They drop down to secure the
hostages but there's still pirate survive. Not so smart course of action. One
of the reason: they lost elevation/height advantage.
But the situation is resolved
with quick trigger yet accurate from Stallone and Co with no hostage casualty. Plain
wow.
One of the group wants to hang a
(dead) pirate. Stallone said "That's not how we work". Yet he still
proceed to do that. Then Jet Li kicks him from behind and they fight.
The fight ends with Stallone
points the guy's head with handgun and later he got subdued on their way to
home via plane. Statham freed him with Stallone's approval. So everyone is back
being friendly to each other.
Afterward, Statham meets his
girlfriend. He gives her a kiss, wine, and ring. Uninteresting.
Turns out she got new boyfriend
(he is inside her house). Then they break-up. Still uninteresting.
Then Stallone get his tattoo
"Expendable" finished by this guy (presumably The Expendable's boss).
Also they talk about that trouble guy and on-duty experience. Then Statham
comes. The boss talk to Statham about wanting to change his hairstyle and
there's knife-throwing contest. Statham miss the target because of the break-up.
Shortly after that the boss got telephone call about next Expendable's job.
Stallone have rendezvous with the
priest in this church. He like to call himself "Mr. Church". Then
there's Arnie as client's another guest! Stallone knew him and want to kill him
because of what happen in the past. By the way, the client is a priest of this
church. I think, he is Bruce Willis. I could be wrong. No. I check Wikipedia
and it's really him. From this time, i will be more serious about the cast.
The mission takes place in Island
of Vilena and to kill a dictator general there. Statham and Stallone have appointment
with contact (intel) in the island, first. Disguise as biologists. Soon after
they pass the checkpoint, the citizens are harassed by these soldiers. Some of
them are taken. General's men are really annoying jerk which proof that infamy
of said general is no kidding. By the way the banner's writing said "The
doctrine that defends the primacy... in society is called military" in
Spanish. The blank part is "Dle Ej-" that are obstructed by Statham's
head. Thank you so much, sir!
After they meet the contact and
giving a ride to discuss further intel. The story goes to this plowed field.
There's the man behinds General's power complains about the manpower (this is
the reason behind those poor people abduction) aren't ready yet to work this
field into...if my listening is correct: coconut field?! Are coconuts really as
valuable as -say- oil or diamonds? Forget about that! There's 'Stone Cold'
Steve Austin as the boss's bodyguard. Yes, there's 'Steve Austin' name on the
preliminary credit. But i didn't expect "The Rattlesnake" himself.
Actually not 0% expectation. More like 20%.
Statham leaves the car on the
middle of the road for iseng case that the contact leads them to trap, i
think. At the end of journey, she shows the area closest to the palace. Soon
truck of soldiers arrive.
So, the contact is General's
daughter?! No wonder she know this location. By the way, as the subtitle (of
Spanish translation) suggest: the soldiers can't be negotiated with diplomatic
and doesn't hesitate to kill her.
Then Statham throws knife at the
group's leader. Stallone manages to grab his handgun and start shooting the
soldiers. The one standing behind Stallone looks...funny and stupid.
Now that a truck full of soldiers
have been decimated, the general becomes suspicious. So Stallone and other must
flee as fast as the car can. I bet those poor kids usually carry tomatoes and
pick them should they fall to the road because of either their clumsiness or
general's men bullying. But today is special because they witness Stallone and
Statham in speeding car. That's should be little sparkling moment in their
lifetime.
While Stallone takes
"care" people at checkpoint, Statham and the contact aboard the
plane. That was the plane, but she insists to stay in this town. Not because
his patriotism or her love for her dad. But i believe she's afraid to get in
the plane. Or Acrophobia, perhaps.
After checkpoint is "checked", Stallone manages to run
and grab the plane's door edge while it's taking off. That's sick.
Oh, wait! Stallone decides to go
back because she's not with them. Then he pilot it to go around and Statham
takes gunning cockpit located in plane's nose. The soldiers who are in the
wharf got mowed down. This is madness!
I take that back. This is the madness!
Stallone sacrifices plane's fuels to pour them along wharf than Statham ignites
them with flare gun. Hold on! Ignition with flare gun?! I (as Pyro) approve
this very much. By the way, don't worry about Austin and his boss! They manages
to jump into the water just in time.
That night, the boss complaints
(again) to the general. This time about how incompetence his men against
Stallone and Statham. Also about his daughter. After General gone. The boss
call someone. Shock! It's Dolph Lundgren (that troubled guy) becomes enemy's
hireling. He's kind of fired by Stallone for his previous act (including almost
slits Li's throat). And now Dolph doesn't hesitate to confront his ex-comrade
with his knowledge and skill. By the way...
...there's bit Mexican standoff
between Dolph and Austin. Is that quite interesting? But, Austin's boss told
him to put down his gun because Dolph is useful. So the situation becomes cold
in a jiff.
The expendables work on
intelligence. It's revealed that Austin's boss (Eric Roberts) is ex-CIA agent. Roberts
is the actual target not the general. Also, Bruce Willis is CIA agent. By the
way Roberts plan to make drug industry in Vilena island. So that field aren't
for Coconut, it's for Cocaine. That makes sense!
Before taking down Roberts,
Statham beat the hell out of his girlfriend's new boyfriend. I mean
ex-boyfriend. The ungrateful git deserve to get punched because he made bruise
on her face.
Also his Basket playmates get beaten too because they defend
bastard by attacking Statham. You could say they brought it themselves,
honestly. Then Statham put the basketball on the jerk's chest and stab it with
knife. No, he doesn't get stabbed in process. Not even slightly.
Meanwhile the general's daughter
finally got caught. She got bit speech from Roberts. Suddenly her father throw
wine bottle at her (from balcony) and said "Why don't you leave?".
She responds with shout "Kill me!" furiously and soon got muted by
Austin with his punch. The woman beater.
Quite much later, she strapped
into a table and her mouth is wrapped with towel. Then one of Robert's men
poured the towel with intense downpour of water. Is this well-known torture
method? Just my thought. Once a while they take off the towel to interrogate
her about the Americans (Stallone and Statham).
Stallone feels guilty leaving the
general's daughter behind. So he want to go back to Vilena island. But he
doesn't have tactical strategy to accomplish that. Statham is upset about it.
But Stallone insists to go there even by himself. But later Li comes with him.
On their way to start the
mission, there's assassination attempt by Robert's men (including Dolph). Miraculously,
they manage to duck safely from close range SMG barrage. See how close his
bursting shoot and somehow they survive! Ridiculous, right. Then they begin to
escape the pursuers while retaliate them.
The pursuers down one by one. Strangely, Dolph drive some of them
out (and beat his partner to unconscious). Maybe he has his own plan. Then Dolph and
Stallone & Li get into a factory. both cars get crashed and then Dolph Vs
Li round 2 begin.
In the end Dolph got shot in the
left chest by Stallone. On his dying breath he tells Stallone who sent him.
Oh, look! The rest of the crew
are already on the plane. So they can wreak havoc together again (minus Dolph, of
course). By the way. Where have you been while Stallone & Li are under that
assassination attempt, huh? Soldier_jeers06.wav
before they start the assault, first they set-up plastic explosive
on certain spots on the palace and dispatch patrol silently.
There's these two lowly soldiers
who harass Sandra (the general's daughter) while still tied and blindfolded. The
immoral scum.
But Stallone
comes to rescue. I'm astounded by his sharp knife that can instantly cut
soldier's hand and head. Remind me of Youmu Konpaku saying " The things
that cannot be cut by my Roukanken, forged by youkai, are close to none!"
in Perfect
Memento in Strict Sense. So, Stallone knife's is made by youkai,
probably.
Unfortunately, while on the run. Stallone got clothesline'ed by
Austin and soon subdued. And Sandra is captured, again.
But The Expendables just in time
to rescue Stallone from Robert's men. So that...
...an opportunity of duel between Stallone and Austin arises.
While Statham and the other deal with Robert's men. But later they got
separated.
Blam! Here goes the general. Mutual
relation between him and Roberts is start to get rusty from few moments ago. So
i can see this coming. By the way, he's about to tell his men to turn down on American
(including Roberts). But you know, get shot before finishing what he said.
The general's speech may
free The Expendables for being under heavy siege by his men. You know what else
that can save them at this condition? That's right. The explosives! Demoman_specialcompleted12.wav.
Stallone hesitate to detonate them earlier
because Sandra is still in the palace. Now that Statham take a glance of her
being dragged away from it by Roberts. Stallone immediately press the button.
But the battle continues as
general's men are still hostile toward The Expendable and Roberts tries to
escape along Sandra as his sandera (Indonesian for "hostage).
Well, no one can tell me that i can't make pun with my national language.
During his escape, Austin got intercepted by Randy Couture and they begin to
wrestle around. Thus Austin is separated from Roberts.
In the end, Randy spears Austin so he's engulfed by flame
and later got hard punch on his face as finisher. Why Randy is safe from the
flame while Austin not? I suspect that kevlar of his is not only bulletproof
but also fireproof. If you wonder why there's line of flame there. It's because
Li ignite presumably moat of oil with grenade.
To blow the escape chopper,
Stallone told Terry Crew to throw cannon's ammo toward it the he shoot it with
handgun. They said "If it looks stupid but it works. It ain't stupid".
And indeed that works well. Good on you, Stallone.
Now that the chopper turn into
smithereens, Roberts continue to escape on foot. Stallone manage to catch up to
him. But you know the common situation where the villain has hostage. Threaten
the protagonist to drop down his weapon by pointing villain's gun toward
hostage. So cliché.
But the situation is resolved
with Stallone doing quick-trigger action with his hidden revolver and Statham
throw knife at Roberts from behind. Also Sandra push him away, so she's sort of
helping out too. 6 gunshot wound on chest and blade impaled right at the center.
Nice wound pattern, there.
With the mission over, The
Expendables can hang out in Mickey Rourke's place. He and Statham doing
knife-throwing contest again. But this time Statham is serious. I mean look at
his face. He looks very determined.
By the way, Dolph is still alive.
I knew he survives that gunshot because i saw him in The Expendables 3. Happy ending, everyone!
'The Expendables'? More like
'Hollywood-Godlike force'. [Harsh
Critique Mode: On] The Expendables is your typical American action movie.
Dozens of gunfire. Tons of explosion. Antagonist's grunts are incompetent
because they can barely hurt the protagonists despite their vast numbers and
how well armed they are. Big fisticuffs mark the "sub-boss" fight.
The protagonists will be guaranteed safe and sound no matter how difficult the
situation they're in. In every captivity situation, the captors tend to be
clumsy thus allow their hostage to brake free relatively easy [Harsh Critique Mode: Off]. On the
other side, The Expendables has light humors to keep it entertaining like:
Stallone's answer Austin question "Who sent you?" with "Your
hairdresser". Close combat scenes are more believable than open-area
combat. Also more interesting. The acting are close to real. That's expected as
most of the cast are very-experienced actor/actress. The armaments in this film
are gorgeous. Given that i tend to be more focus on the weaponry than the
shoot-y scene. For example: AK-47 that the general's men use; and on car chase
and assassination, lots of them uses SMG of MP family. The amount of nasty swears is quite minimum. I think that's good, i don't know about you. There's lots of wrestling moves. The Expendable logo is quite cool. The explosive installation is kind of strategic procedure. Oh, right. The
comparison. The Expendables got 'Stone
Cold' Steve Austin while The Expendables
3 has bunch of young stars that i don't recognize at all. But Arnold
Schwarzenegger and Jet Li got shooting scene side-by-side. That's all, i guess.
