It's almost new year, reader! And
it's perfect time for 2019 review article. But don't expect something very
spectacular for this special article. It only consists 12 MVPs (Most valuable
pictures) and top/most-viewed 12 articles like last year edition because i'm
lazy git.
I) MVP (Most
Valuable Pictures)
This game is all about killing
penguins with mostly gruesome yet comical method. Not all penguins are evil and
deserve to die but good penguins (which are hatless) are very few that you can
almost ignore their existence. The game makes me like to kill penguins. It
can't be helped. Either you kill all (evil) penguins or the world is doomed,
you choice. Anyway, i'm not the only one who like to murder penguin. There's
this standing dragon-crocodile that like to bite a whole penguin and shred it
to pieces. He doesn't move from where he stands so he simply stretches his neck
to prey on any penguin that happens to walk in front of him. He's initially
sleeps (while standing, of course) and you can "gently" wake him by
using my pan. But he doesn't have grudge on me and start to do his job on those
penguins as if i just wake him up from slacking off and he feels grateful for
that. He's my best reptilian friend besides flying lizardman in Magic Sword.
Imagine if some subdued criminal
big boss keep saying "Stupid!" repeatedly like some child that
doesn't accept that he's lost to some sport match. Hilarious, isn't? ;D
3. Eragon (PSP)
This intermission screen is
simply gorgeous yet informing that the dragon named Saphira, destroyed siege
engines in the middle of a castle. Also i like the detail of men being blasted
along with their machine proofing that the siege engines are manned. But in the
game, there's no one beside them much like siege engine in Warcraft 2 or 3.
4. Eragon (GBA)
What you always do in JRPGS
besides talking with NPC? Checking every chest, right? Brom here doesn't let
you do that. Yes, it's very rare occasion that a NPC doesn't let you take their
belonging on their chest although it's very reasonable in real life. But Brom
later become party member and i'm quite sure he now permit me to take whatever
inside of his chest here. I hope.
Ghost Pilots is rather generic
vertical shmup made by SNK. But you can see a grim reaper on title screen or
maybe he's Death from Castlevania that somehow got lost here. Poor bastard.
6 & 7. Jurassic World (Movie)
I really envy to those kids who
can ride on young triceratops even it only happens in the movie. Therefore this
picture is simply the best in the movie.
Or maybe this moment where a giant Mosasaurus eat a shark like a
dolphin eat fish at aquarium only much much bigger in size of the eater, of
course. With such huge size, you expect it to be star of this movie beside
T-Rex and you're right! It will devour the main antagonist later on.
In Codepurple's entry, the jury
heavy's head turns into President Vladimir Putin's after he ate the bad sandwich
(it's made from various ingredient including bear's *ehm* sperms). It's simply
remarkable reaction.
After dealing with her abyssal/demonic
self, Destroyer Fubuki takes a breath-taking sunrise watching with Carrier
Akagi and Carrier Kaga. The scenery is very beautiful, don't you think?
10 & 11.
Area 51 (PS2)
I played Area 51 farther and i
found BGG. Not BFG from Classic Doom, mind you! It's BGG that probably stands
for "Boom Glow Gun". It fires 3 orbs per shoot like semi-automatic
burst of real Sub machinegun or assault
rifle. They will bounce on walls and floor. If they hit an enemy, they will
latch into him and later explode for further damage. It takes exact 3 orbs to
kill an Illuminati soldier. This gun is definitely for more tactical method
than frontal ones. If you press "aim down the sight" button, it will emit
laser pointer that let you know where the orbs will go and/or deflect but in
activating said laser will drain the ammo periodically. No reload is necessary instead
you have to let the gun "idle" to recharge its ammo. That means you
don't need to pick any ammo to fill this gun but you can't holster it to let it
recharge by itself, leaving you vulnerable while concentrating on charging it.
50 is the maximum ammo of this alien gun.
The moon landing is made up all along! Those
crazed conspiracy theorists are correct! At the behest of Illuminati, they create moon
landing scene at the heart of Area 51. There's looping record of dialogue
between Neil Armstrong and Houston. Hilarity ensues when Neil forgot his line
which ruining the atmosphere really bad.
Hilarity also happens here where a
robot with roller skates, carries a giant bomb and tries to hit me with it. The
robot is step up from that suicide bomber from Gunforce but easy to dispatch. I was thinking about putting the gif
of the dynamic entrance but we're too good for that, right?
II) The Top
12 Articles
12. Dimahoo (Arcade)
Dimahoo is arcade shmup that
features dragons, fortress turtle, and RPG items including champion beef.
People love cartoon meat from the best cow, afterall.
One of the goal of writing in
this blog is: to let anyone know about obscured gems or at least less known and
Kuon is one them. Anything FromSofware release that isn't Soulsborne, Metal Wolf Chaos or
Tenchu, tend to be not famous. RIght? Even though i'm proud what i did here, i
admit that i don't have fun on playing this Survival Horror Game. What did you
expect from me who's the reincarnation of Joseph Frost (the lamest S.T.A.R.S.
member), anyway?
Here's another example of
obscured gems that need more acknowledgment because XQuest
is really damn good. Your ship moves fast yet slippery and there's lots of
thing here that will lethal to touch such as enemy's bullets, mines, and walls.
The game not only demands you to move carefully but also fast. Finishing a
stage (by collecting all blue gems and passing the exit gate) within short
time, will nets you bonus score that's essential for extra life. This
well-designed game is made by one man: Atomjack. I salute you, sir!
This isn't unsurprising as the
game starring 8-bit version of James Rolfe or better known as Angry Video Game
Nerd, the famous youtuber. The game consists of 8 stages with 2 kind of game
type: 1) Platformer in which Nerd throws bottles at enemies and jumps around 2)
Horizontal shooter in which Nerd wears a jetpack and shoulder-mounted bottle
launcher. The bottle is Rolling Rock beer bottle, of course. Even though it's
quite well designed, i feel that the game has so little replayability value.
But still worth to give it a shot, mind you. Wait! Did i just say shot as in
drinking liquor? Nevermind.
This is also reasonable. As we
know that this Jurassic Park Movie is home to the quite famous
"Prattkeeping" meme although the story premise is not far from
Dinosaurs go wild and kill people, which is dull and not satisfying. Also Dr.
Hammond is nowhere to be seen there. Spy_jeers02.wav
Well, this game is unlike other
Medal of Honor that is First Person Shooter. Although it's top-down shooter,
it's still fun to play as i tend to love the genre. Besides it's pretty well
designed too. You can strafe, use mounted machine gun, drive a tank, and select
arsenal that fits to your liking. Besides top-down shooter mode, there's also crosshair
shooter mode to mix things up.
Inindo is about an Iga ninja that
seeks revenge on the infamous Nobunaga Oda. But before he confront the demonic
warlord, the ninja must kills Giant Rats and leveling up. Because it's JRPG,
y'know? The first dungeon feels short but from 3rd dungeon and beyond are long
making the game quite tedious.
The 2nd part of the review
surpass the 1st ones on viewer count by not significant margin but i'm fine
with that. Even with horror effect (including jumpscare) here and there, the
game is actually pretty easy what's with relatively easy enemies and strong
magic weapons at your disposal like summoning these demonic hands a la Jedah
Dohma from Vampire Savior. As i
watched someone else playing this game to completion, i know that there's no
real threatening enemy in this game unlike Nemesis or Lickers in Resident Evil.
Even the bosses are not as dangerous as the famous S.T.A.R.S hunter. I feel
ashamed that i give up too early but i don't see the reason to play the game
again now that i know the premise of the game. Sorry.
Airwolf marks the first
horizontal shooter that i review. Even it's made in 1987, it really stands out
among its peer by having this dodge maneuver that makes the helicopter
invincible for awhile. The popularity of this review also thanks to the fame of
movie series that the game based on. Maybe.
Speaking of late 80's arcade
game, Wrestle War also one of top 12
review on reader count. I'm very happy and proud of this fact because that mean
i save lots of people from mangling their own hand. If they heed my warning
about how hand-wrecking the game is, that is.
This is quite expected as Resident Evil 3 is very famous and
everyone has played it. Well, except me. That's why they're curious how sucks i
do at this game. Because i'm bad at making conclusion as usual, not many people
read the 2nd part of this review. It's not even in the top list here, like not
at all. But strangely, this the one where i don't fight Nemesis more than once.
Nonetheless many people love to read this article.
3. Eragon (PSP)
This is quite surprising because
this game is based on movie that's kind of box office bomb. But the game itself
is fantastic. It's arcade-y combat flight simulator kind of like Ace Combat but
you control a dragon instead of modern aircraft. The dragon can breaths fire or
picks rock and later drops it like a bomb. She (yes, it's she) can also eats
sheep to restore her health. There's also energy (or mana if you like to call
it) that you can use for speed boost (or nitro boost if you will) and various
spell casting. Besides casting magic, the dragonrider can shoot variety of
arrow. There's also sub-mission besides main mission, to get equipment for
multiplayer game. This game simply remarkable and you should try this.
Medic_laughhappy02.wav
The 2nd place goes to Tales of
Phantasia! Is it because the first "Tales of..." game (it's the
remake of the same game in SNES)? All i know is: it's the only "Tales
of..." RPG that released in GBA. Instead of using screenshot that i took
before, i use the quite recent ones where we're in full party! Turns out, the
key to defeat Dhaos is magic. Not clergy magic that Mint posses that
allow her to heal and cast de-buff on enemies. No! We need elemental magic that
deal damage. Therefore we recruited Claus the summoner and Arche the witch. Claus
is the one with cone hat can summon elemental deity to deal huge damage in
large area with massive TP cost so he's basically heavy mage. His weapon is
book including "Adult" magazine but it's weak and rather useless.
Arche flies with her broom and attack enemy with it like someone ride the Chicken
Legs in Golden Axe but -you know- flying. She's definitely another magic user
with light to heavy magic. That all sounds great but there's one problem: our party
still only have 1 tank and that is Cress the swordsman! I hope there's
favorable change on our party in the future.
What a shock! The 1st place of
top article this year belong to Fighting Stage Edition #3! It also the most
read Fighting Stage review of all time. Will there be another edition that can
surpass the reader count of this one in the future? Who know. This article
marks the return of Fighting Stage review after ±2 years hiatus and i'm not
sure the reason behind the long absence. I blame my ignorance or laziness for
that. I can gather the material for this kind of article in short time but
picking for the appropriate pictures can be finicky but i can promise that i
will make another edition with less than 2 year absence. Anyway, the reason
behind the popularity of this edition most likely because i pick some
screenshot from the famous and the pioneer of fighting game made by Capcom. It's
none other than: Street Fighter 2. Anyone
who expected screenshot from SF 2, will likely disappointed as i decide to use screenshot
of Asura Blade instead. Because i
reckon both the game and that dead dork behind the tall rock, need more recognition.
He truly deserves it, really.
As per usual, i thank to you,
dear reader. I hope you enjoy my writings so far. Special thanks to:
- Bbcpersian7.com for the clipart of Indonesian flag that i keep using in 17th August articles.
- Those who are my inspiration to write this kind of non-sense articles: VGJunk (that no longer active writing) and Ray Hardgrit.
- Twitch streamers that i followed. They provide me with more gaming insight in some occasion while entertaining me.
To quote Soldier's cheer from
Team Fortress 2: Everyone of you deserve a medal!
Also i wish you good luck on year 2020!
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